When I was one month away from my 18th birthday, my parents gave our family one of the best presents ever; I got a real-live baby sister! Of course, because of my age (and the sister just younger than me; Jodi, who was almost 16) it was almost as if this new baby had three mothers! I was used to "mothering" - I had very much mothered the sister that was born nine years earlier, Barb, and I was only 9 when she was born. I guess I can hardly remember a time in my life when I wasn't mothering someone!!! Some of my earliest memories are those of mothering the neighbor baby that lived next to my Grandma Gail.
Now, back to my original beginning... I mothered Sara Emeline from the day she was brought home from the hospital. Jodi and I told our mother that WE would do the midnight feedings. It didn't take Jodi very long to realize that the advantages of sleeping through the night sounded a little better than sitting alone in the living room, half asleep and feeding a slow-eating baby. (At least that is what I called her when I sat and fed her! She took a long time to get that 3-4 ounces of milk down her!!!) If I had ever "timed" it, I'm sure she didn't take that long at all - it was just that I was sleepy. But, I promised Mom and I didn't want to "quit" on her. I probably only did those night feedings for a couple of weeks - but it was long enough to get Mom back on her feet and feeling better; she WAS 42, after all!!!
This new baby sister kept Mom and Dad very young. When Mom was at her first pre-natal check up, the doctor told her, "You Grandmas make good Mamas!"
After I graduated, I would take Sara into town with me on days I didn't work. Once, I bought her the same, exact baby doll two weeks in a row, because she "wanted" them and I wouldn't say "no" to her~! (Great parenting skills, eh?) This is the way life was between Sara and me. A few months after she turned 3, I had a baby of my own... but, Sara was still, very much "the baby" of the family.
Fast forward with me some 30+ years. In the middle of 2007, we lost both of our parents within 101 days. Suddenly, we were "orphans"; immediately and without a say, we no longer had parents to turn to in time of need. From the moment our second parent died, it was as if an external force pulled us inward toward each other - a group of six siblings. Now, all we had on earth, was each other. What would we have done without our Heavenly Father? You see, our earthly father was a "prayer warrior". If we had ANY kind of need, fear, joy or sorrow - it was Dad that was called first. It never mattered what time of day or night; Dad was ALWAYS available. His prayers seemed to reach Heaven as if he had a more direct connection than anyone else in our lives. Maybe it was because he was our Dad; possibly it was because he had been our Pastor since were were little children. Whatever the cause, the fact remained - Dad was the one we sought out for that "immediate connection" with God when trouble, pain, sorrow or joy came our way; and yes, I said joy. We we taught at a young age, that our Heavenly Father wanted to share in every aspect of our life; the good and the bad, the joys and the sorrows.
The day our father died, several of us wondered, "would we be able to fly solo? Did we have what it took to fly alone?" Each of us were responsible to find that "connection" to our Heavenly Father without the aid of Dad's prayers. Thankfully, we had been trained and instructed in that capacity. We each had developed our own relationship with God and were able to rely on God for the comfort, counsel and guidance that only a father can give. But what about those times when we desired that extra measure of security; that special intimacy that we felt with God when Dad prayed? We have each had those times since Dad died.
Sara has currently landed smack dab in the middle of one of those times. A few weeks ago she found out she was pregnant. Joy? Yes, there is plenty of that. Anticipation of a new little life to add to our ever-expanding family; yes, that too. But the worst part was/is those first several weeks when she is always horribly sick; I can relate!!! (Dad told me more than once, "Raising Sara is just like raising YOU all over again; right down to the daily stomach aches.") Well, we share the same intensity of "Morning Sickness", too - and oh, that it WAS only Morning Sickness. But, alas, it is all day and all night long - has been for her and was for me. I was sick for 9 months for all three of my pregnancies.
What to do now. Dad is not here. She cried and cried; "I miss dad and mom so much right now". That is NOT what a big sister/surrogate mother can stand to hear on the other end of the phone line. Helpless - that is how I felt. Utterly and totally helpless. She is in Indian and I am in Michigan. I cannot even drive over and hug and hold her. All I do is cry for awhile with her. I talked with her for a little bit and then I said, "Sara, I'm going to pray for you now, okay?" Weak voice responds, "Okay." Mind you, I am sitting in the parking lot at my place of employment, crying and praying in my car, knowing that in a couple of minutes I have to walk into work. I just simply talked to our wonderful Heavenly Father about the whole thing. How she wanted her parents, how she felt "useless" to her family. About her being so sick and how she need HIS peace. I asked God for it all.
I told her that this was NOT a surprise to GOD, although, from things she has said, I think it WAS a surprise to her and Tony!!! Ooops!
But, she is now 12 weeks pregnant. She will soon go to the doctor to hear her baby's heartbeat. After losing 5 babies and only carrying 3 to term, she is nervous about that, too. She wants to hear that little heartbeat and then she will be able to relax.
I don't know how good I have been at being a Surrogate Mother to her, but I feel like her mother. I'm thankful for younger sisters that can keep babies around for awhile, yet; I'm also thankful that I have felt Maternal to her for her entire life; it certainly is a good thing at this point of her life!
I think her Nausea and Vomiting has decreased considerably since that day I prayed for her - now if FOOD just TASTED good to her..... seems there is always something~!
Just when all this was first taking place, my Pastor read a scripture during a sermon from John 14:18..."No, I will not abandon you as orphans-I will come to you." (NLT)
So, little sister, God promised in His words to us that he would NOT abandon us as orphans. So, just because we ARE orphaned.... God has not and never will abandon us!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Political Correctness or Tolerance and Respect ?
I was at my Doctor's office a few days ago. The waiting room was nearly empty as I sat and looked around the room. Suddenly, my eyes fixated on an object beneath one of the chairs. I got up and walked closer. Was it a man's "dress hat" as some older gentlemen still wear? No, it didn't quite have the right shape. As I reached the other side of the room, still puzzled, I thought maybe I knew the answer. 
My eyes began to search the immediate area for some kind of confirmation. Not far from the chair, was a table, sitting in the corner, holding magazines and flyers. But prominently piled at the front of the table was the confirmation I was looking for. In case you are still "wondering", they were Amish hats.
As I turned to ask the Receptionist a question, from the hallway appeared two Amish ladies. One was of retired age, the other - just a young lady. They both sat down with me in the waiting room.
Forgive me; I must back-up a little bit...
Shortly after I had noticed the hats and quickly took pictures of them, two other ladies had come into the office and sat down to wait, also. They began to converse with me. We were talking about gardening, canning, cooking and so-on. So, it was just natural to include the Amish ladies in our conversation when they joined us. There was no hesitation from anyone in the room. We were just a small group of women, sharing our experiences and secrets of baking pies, making home-made noodles, gardening and canning.
As I sat there and looked at the five of us talking and inter-acting with each other I realized there were no "lines" of any kind that made us different from each other. Yes, we each had our own style of dress and "appearance", but we were just five women sharing common experiences and laughter!
It seems to me that because so much of our thinking, today, is spent making sure that we are being politically correct, we often cannot see the trees for the forest. When did plain, old-fashioned tolerance and respect become such an issue that we changed the name of those virtues to "Political Correctness"?
Supposedly, we are now more sophisticated in order that we not offend anyone in any way, in regards to how they look, think or act. Are we now a generation of more tolerant and polite people? I, personally, don't think so. When I think back to how children were raised in my era, (and even further back to my parent's era), there were just values instilled in us that demanded respect. I realize that from that time to the present, many people have been made more aware and educated about physical and mental limitations in particular people groups. Many also have learned that ALL people are equal, no matter their color, their size, their education, or their social status.
I guess the whole thought process that I had that day as I looked at those articles of clothing that distinguished one group of people from the rest of the world was, when you get down to the heart of women interacting with other women , we are just that... we are all just women! We have the same desires, responsibilities, and, yes, even the same underlying need that ALL MANKIND has had from the beginning... ACCEPTANCE for who we are!
God used some hats that day to show me more clearly HIS thoughts on the subject:
James 2:9 (NLT) says: "But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. James 2: 12-13 (NLT) adds: "So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you."
My eyes began to search the immediate area for some kind of confirmation. Not far from the chair, was a table, sitting in the corner, holding magazines and flyers. But prominently piled at the front of the table was the confirmation I was looking for. In case you are still "wondering", they were Amish hats. 
As I turned to ask the Receptionist a question, from the hallway appeared two Amish ladies. One was of retired age, the other - just a young lady. They both sat down with me in the waiting room.Forgive me; I must back-up a little bit...
Shortly after I had noticed the hats and quickly took pictures of them, two other ladies had come into the office and sat down to wait, also. They began to converse with me. We were talking about gardening, canning, cooking and so-on. So, it was just natural to include the Amish ladies in our conversation when they joined us. There was no hesitation from anyone in the room. We were just a small group of women, sharing our experiences and secrets of baking pies, making home-made noodles, gardening and canning.
As I sat there and looked at the five of us talking and inter-acting with each other I realized there were no "lines" of any kind that made us different from each other. Yes, we each had our own style of dress and "appearance", but we were just five women sharing common experiences and laughter!
It seems to me that because so much of our thinking, today, is spent making sure that we are being politically correct, we often cannot see the trees for the forest. When did plain, old-fashioned tolerance and respect become such an issue that we changed the name of those virtues to "Political Correctness"?
Supposedly, we are now more sophisticated in order that we not offend anyone in any way, in regards to how they look, think or act. Are we now a generation of more tolerant and polite people? I, personally, don't think so. When I think back to how children were raised in my era, (and even further back to my parent's era), there were just values instilled in us that demanded respect. I realize that from that time to the present, many people have been made more aware and educated about physical and mental limitations in particular people groups. Many also have learned that ALL people are equal, no matter their color, their size, their education, or their social status.
I guess the whole thought process that I had that day as I looked at those articles of clothing that distinguished one group of people from the rest of the world was, when you get down to the heart of women interacting with other women , we are just that... we are all just women! We have the same desires, responsibilities, and, yes, even the same underlying need that ALL MANKIND has had from the beginning... ACCEPTANCE for who we are!
God used some hats that day to show me more clearly HIS thoughts on the subject:
James 2:9 (NLT) says: "But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. James 2: 12-13 (NLT) adds: "So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
