Broken and Spilled Out...

Recently, I was reading some one's blog and she mentioned that she had been reading a book on "Grief" and it suggested breaking a piece of pottery or china, etc. She thought it sounded stupid until she did it. After she broke it, God began to speak to her and told her to pick up the pieces and go put the "pitcher" back together again. She went through a tremendous night of talking to God, gathering a lot of insight on her past/present wounds, and learning some things. She suggested that others do the same - and be sure to share their experience with her. I thought about it for awhile and then decided that I was, maybe a bit further on in my "grieving" and didn't need to do it.

HOWEVER, a couple of days later, God kept bringing that post back to my mind, but in an entirely different way. The song: "Broken and Spilled Out" just kept running through my head at the same time I would think about breaking a pitcher. I didn't have a copy of the song B&SO, so I looked up the lyrics on Google. I even printed them out. I would go to the piano and play the song, all the while thinking of the scripture that went with it and how I felt it all related to me. But, alas, I didn't even own a pitcher, so I was off the hook. Then I spotted a vinegar bottle with a cork for a stopper. "Broken and Spilled Out".... God said. Okay, okay...I'll do it. So, I took a picture of the vinegar bottle and then took it out on my sidewalk. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I looked around, hoping no one would see me and ask what I was doing. I took the broom and dustpan out with me, also, so I could sweep away any little shards of glass and any residual vinegar.

I stood and kind of dropped/threw it down on the sidewalk and I heard vinegar bubbling all over as it ran down the slope. I quickly picked up all the pieces big enough to pick up, swept up the rest of the mess and left the "wet spot" to dry in the hot sun. I had all the pieces in a grocery sack and I put them onto my craft table and got out the hot glue gun.

Now, before I go any farther, let me say I also Googled "vinegar" and found that it has been used throughout the years for many, many things. It is used for medicinal purposes, cleaning things of every variety, and last by not least, for culinary purposes.

I glued one whole evening until the inevitable happened. I was just about at the end of the gluing when I had a piece that had to be glued on 3 sides out of 4. You guessed it... I burned 4 fingers so badly that I had to quit for the night. I ran to the sink and ran them under cool water. Pulling the glue from very burned fingers didn't feel very good; especially the finger that immediately had a huge blister on it. I went in and slathered all four fingers with Silvidane Cream, took some Tylenol and sat in the chair to wait for the throbbing to stop. I fell asleep. When I woke up a couple hours later, the cream had all absorbed into my skin and the pain was pretty much gone. But, my fingers were still to sore to finish the job, so I had to wait a day or so for them to heal a little. This is what I learned from that entire project.

1)Until I realized I was "broken" I had no need for God in my life.
2)Until I came to the end of myself (sweet abandon) I didn't want God to rescue/fix me.
3)What I tried to do for myself only caused me great pain and sorrow.
4)Sometimes the pain of healing/making me "whole again" is so great that I have to take a little breather from the work.
5)Now that I am put back together, there are many, many scars that I will always bear, because of choices I made.
6)What I see as ugly scars, will, with time, become "Beauty Marks" changed by the Master.
7)My life is now ready to be "used" by God; whether it is to help clean, to heal or to feed others.

"Broken and spilled out, just for love of you, Jesus; My most precious treasure lavished on thee. Broken and spilled out, and poured at your feet; In sweet abandon, let me be spilled out and used up for thee."

Matthew 26:6-13 and John 12:1-8 both give an account of the woman who broke the jar of an expensive essence and poured it out on Jesus in preparation for His burial. She was not a woman who was known for making good choices in her life. I'm sure the day she became "Broken and Spilled Out" had a part in changing her life forever.

I thank God for teaching me such a valuable lesson. My broken and scared vinegar jar sits at the top of my cupboard with some of my "pretties" - where now, it has more value than all the other things around it.